This week we are continuing to look at reasons why we find it difficult to let go and what we can do to make it easier. This week we’re talking about feeling guilty about letting items go because they remind us of a specific time in our life. I hope you’ll let me know what you think of this topic.
If you allow guilt to stop you from parting with an item that you do not truly love or use, then it instantly becomes clutter. Plus if you hoard it then you are preventing someone else from using and loving the item.
It does not matter if that item is a souvenir from your honeymoon; your child’s first pair of shoes, or an impulse purchase, if you do not use it or love it then it is useless to you.
So, what’s the solution?
First, you must come to the realization that the memory is not in the item, the memory stays with you. If you take a photo of the item you can keep the memory without having to keep the actual item.
One of the best ways to part with these cherished items is to hand them over to someone who will love them as much as you did.
Start by finding an item that you’re least attached to emotionally and find it a new place to live. Here are some suggestions: pass it along to a charity, give it to a friend or family member (if they have it you’ll have visiting rights) or place the item in a memory box (a special container where you keep all your treasures of years gone by- you get three.)
If these are not possible then consider the MAYBE BOX technique. What this is exactly is to box the item up, tape the box shut, list the contents on the outside of the box and set a date 6-12 months into the future. If you need an item you have it but on that date you have not needed to retrieve the item(s) from the box t just give the box away- without looking inside.
Oh and let’s not forget it is not about letting it ALL go. There are treasures, souvenirs and mementos that we should keep. For example, the “firsts” from our children- first time they wrote their name, first outfit worn home from the hospital. But we can’t keep every outfit or every creation they made or the best will get lost in the mess. The same is true of all those treasures, keeping every greeting card ever given to you means the ones with precious handwritten messages are jumbled with the more generic ones.
So is letting go easy, not for everyone. Does it get easier the more you do it? You bet! And be gentle with yourself, this may be a time where are you find new homes for the things from your past you start to learn and accept more about yourself. Letting go for most of us means letting go of the “shoulds”, the impossible standards and the expectations we have for ourselves and when we do that the physical stuff falls away as well.
Giving away the baby crib may mean you will not have any more children- but you may have grandchildren! Giving away your cookbook collection may mean you will never be a five star chef- but you can still sign up for a local cooking class! And giving away your four sizes too small jeans means you may never be the size you were in college- but you can wear jeans the size you are today and actually be able to bend.
So what will you be letting go of today?
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